Alone

October 9, 2012 at 10:59 pm (Uncategorized)

Tomorrow I am finally going to get rid of your roses.  I don’t want to.  I really really don’t.

There’s so many of them.  Dozens. White ones and pink ones and red ones.

I remember the first rose you gave me was a single white one on our second date.

I can’t bear to look at them.  I can’t keep doing this anymore.  This pain, it consumes me.  I can’t live my life like this, wondering if maybe today you’ll call me and say you can’t live without me, that you miss me, that you love me.  And then I feel guilty for hoping you’ll call, because that would mean your marriage failed.

I don’t want to get rid of my roses, but the pain, if I don’t do something, will drive me to suicide. It’s a simple fact.

I need to do something about this gaping wound you’ve left in your wake.  I don’t even know where to start.  I guess the roses.

But I don’t want to let you go.  I’m not sure if I even can. I hurt every day, every hour, every second.  Even in sleep the pain doesn’t leave me.  I barely function.

I just want you to be mine. But you didn’t choose me. Every night I cry. I’m crying while writing this. And there’s nothing I can do.

I just want you here with me.

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2 Comments

  1. Anon said,

    Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
    The shadow in the background of the morgue
    The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
    We can live like Jack and Sally if we want to
    Where you can always find me
    We’ll have Halloween on Christmas
    And in the night we’ll wish this never ends
    We’ll wish this never ends

    Where are you and I’m so sorry
    I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
    and hear your voice of treason
    “Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?”
    “Stop this pain tonight.”

    Don’t waste your time on me you’re already
    The voice inside my head

  2. Anonymous said,

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