Message In A Bottle

September 6, 2012 at 10:43 pm (Uncategorized)

I found a bunch of old pictures of you that I took today.  One of them was my favorite picture of us.  I don’t think I ever showed it to you. In fact I know I never did.  It’s technically not a very good picture-it’s fuzzy, there’s too much red going on, and you really can’t see our faces.  But in it you’re asleep, and I was trying to cuddle up with you without waking up.  I decided to take our picture.  I think I took it because I didn’t have any of us together. We were 19 I think. 

We were so young.

And now I feel so old.  So scarred and cynical.  Jaded.  Afraid.  Guarded.  Regretful.

I miss you so much.  I don’t think you will ever know.  I wish I had been more open this last year about how I felt.  I was just so scared.  I didn’t want to be full on rejected. 

I will never love anyone like I love you.  Nobody will know me like you did. 

We said so many things, we went through so much.  One day I hope you can forgive yourself like how I’ve forgiven you.  I don’t want you to live under such guilt for the rest of your life.  I just want you to be happy.

I don’t know if I can ever completely let go of you.  Five years is a long chunk of time to just let go into the past.  I think my heart will never completely heal from losing you.

I’ll never stop loving you.  You were always my knight in shining armor, nothing will ever change that.



  1. Anon said,

  2. Anon said,

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